What are you afraid will happen if you let something drop?

For a long time, I thought being busy meant I was doing well. If I was working hard, making progress and getting things done, I was successful.

Then I started a psychology degree during lockdown. At the time, it was manageable because much of life was put on hold. But once everything opened up again, work became busier and all the usual family and social commitments came back too. Suddenly I was trying to balance everything that was going on while also keeping up with a degree trying to do well at it. I started to feel overwhelmed.

What changed was when a coach pointed out something I hadn’t really considered before - I didn’t need to keep up with everything. I could focus on the areas of psychology I was most interested in and go deeper into those, and stop worrying so much about the parts I was unlikely to use again. I still ended up getting a first, but I got there by being more selective about where I put my energy.

That experience changed how I think about overwhelm. Sometimes there really is too much going on, but we should also consider whether some of the pressure is coming from the rules we’ve created around how we should behave.

It might help to ask yourself "What do I think will happen if I don’t do this?". Maybe you feel like you should be able to keep on top of it all, or that if you let something slide you’re somehow failing. Maybe you’re worried you’ll disappoint someone. Or perhaps being busy has become so closely linked with feeling successful that it feels wrong if you slow down.

Once you understand what’s underneath it, it becomes easier to decide what really needs your attention and what can wait. Some things genuinely do need doing, of course, but not everything needs the same amount of your energy.

In our busy lives, having some space where you allow yourself to put your to do list aside and fully relax, matters more than we might realise. Even 20 minutes a day can be a start. If taking that time makes you feel guilty, think about what you would say to a good friend who told you she was exhausted and overwhelmed. Would you tell her she didn’t deserve 20 minutes to herself?

Try giving yourself that same permission for a week and see what you notice. Get lost in a book, go for a walk, meditate, sit with a coffee, whatever helps you switch off for a little while. That space can help you come back to things with a clearer head and a better sense of well being, rather than feeling like your mind has been switched on all day.