When was the last time you felt really excited about your life?
Not excited because your child did well, your partner had good news, or something at work went right. I mean something that was yours. Something you were looking forward to because it made you feel energised and alive.
A lot of women get so used to keeping everything going that they stop noticing how little of their life is actually for them. Work needs doing, the house needs sorting, other people need things, and before long life falls into a routine that works perfectly well but feels a bit flat to live in. You can love your family, appreciate what you have and still want more than that.
And no, I’m not suggesting you need to find a new partner, quit your job or disappear to Bali. I’m talking about bringing thing into your life that are there because you enjoy them. Try the class you keep looking at. Go somewhere you’ve never been before. Book the exhibition. Learn something because you’re interested in it, not because it’s useful. Do something you used to love before life became quite so full of responsibility.
And this is usually where “I don’t have time” comes in. Sometimes that’s completely true, because life can be ridiculously busy. But sometimes what we really mean is, “I can’t justify spending that time on myself.” We’ll find an hour for something the children need, something for work or a favour for someone else, but an hour spent doing something simply because we want to can somehow feel harder to justify.
So have a proper look at what’s taking up your time. Does everything really need doing? Does it all need doing now? Does it all need doing by you? Could something be delegated, done less perfectly or simply left until another day? To be honest, sometimes we treat every item on our list as though it carries exactly the same weight, when really it doesn’t. I’d also stop asking only, “What do I have time for?” and start asking, “What gives me energy?” Some things are perfectly pleasant but don’t really do much for us. Other things leave us feeling more motivated, more awake or just more like ourselves afterwards, and its these things that can have a longer positive impact on our mood - which can also positively impact those around us.
You don’t need hours of spare time to start changing how your life feels. But you probably do need to stop treating yourself as the thing you’ll get around to when everything else is done.
