What if the answer to your problem is somewhere around you, but you’re so focused on one solution that you can’t see it?
I was watching Once Upon a Time recently and one line really stuck with me: “Everyone wants some magical solution for their problem and everyone refuses to believe in magic.” I loved it. And no, I’m not saying we all start believing in fairy godmothers, wizards and magic wands. But I do think there’s a kind of everyday magic in the way life sometimes works out through routes we never expected.
When something is really bothering us, we can become attached to the answer we think we need. We decide what the solution should look like, then put all our energy into trying to make that happen. The problem is that once we’ve done that, it can become much harder to notice anything that doesn’t fit the picture we’ve already created in our head.
Imagine your relationship has ended and you’re devastated. You’re convinced the thing that will make everything OK again is getting that person back, so you compromise more, analyse every message and look for any sign they might change their mind. Then a friend persuades you to go somewhere you didn't really want to go to, you meet somebody you would never normally have crossed paths with, and months later you realise you’re experiencing the kind of relationship you’d been trying so hard to create with somebody else.
Or maybe you know you need to leave your job, but you can’t see how. In your head, the only responsible option is to find another full-time permanent role first, so you keep looking for jobs and feeling increasingly trapped because they don't go past the first round of interviews. Then you mention it to somebody over coffee and they tell you about a part-time opportunity you hadn’t even considered. It gives you enough financial security to leave and, unexpectedly, gives you the time to build your own business.
It can happen with smaller problems too. Perhaps your child is struggling with something and you’ve spent weeks searching online and reading books. Then another parent mentions something almost casually that worked for their child. It’s so simple you probably wouldn’t have believed it, but you try it and suddenly you notice your child improves.
Psychology has actually looked at something similar to this. Once we become used to solving a problem in a particular way, we can become more likely to keep approaching it through the same route, even when another answer is available. Sometimes our experience helps us solve problems faster, but is can also narrow it down to what we’re able to see.
That’s why I think it can be useful, especially when you feel stuck, to ask yourseslf whether the answer you're looking for doesnt look like what you think it does?
That doesn’t mean sitting back and waiting for the universe to fix your life. Keep doing things, keep asking questions, talk to people if it feels right. Follow something that catches your attention, even if it doesn’t seem relevant at first. Leave a little room for the possibility that the solution might come from somewhere you hadn’t thought about. Because keeping yourself open is where the everyday magic might appear.
